Linen problems all sewn up

Source

While the standard answer to Graham Russell’s fitted sheet dilemma (C8) was either “You don’t” or “With great difficulty”, Joy Paterson of Mount Annan recently asked her grand-daughters if they wanted to know her method of folding. They didn’t: “One said that would be her husband’s job and the other declared she would have a housekeeper to do it.”

There’s no need for Graham to get the sheets, as long as he follows these instructions from Col Burns of Lugarno: “Carefully identify each corner and meticulously fold diagonally opposite corners into the centre of the sheet. Fastidiously repeat this process until the folded fabric measures one square metre. Finally, and most importantly, aggressively scrunch the sheet into a spherical mass and wedge between stacks of towels in the linen cupboard.”

“A duck has been named grand champion bird of the show at the Sydney Royal Easter Show for the first time in 199 years,” reports Graham Lum of North Rocks. “Lord, love a duck!”

“Jenny Lyle (C8) successfully grows passionfruit and produces a glut each season. Aren’t there any possums in Collaroy?” asks Wendy Crew of Lane Cove North.

“I clearly remember my father warning me when the choko crop (C8) was full-on to be watchful for anyone approaching with a brown paper bag,” writes Richard Stewart of Pearl Beach. “Quickly move to the other side of the road because the bearer has excess chokos to give away.”

Adding to the home-grown bounty, Tony Adams of Killara remembers when “every fourth backyard had a mulberry tree. Sure the birds feeding on the delicious ripe berries made a mess of the white sheets on the (pre Hills Hoist) clothes line, but how else were you going to feed your silkworms?”

“At the age of 63, if Mark Morgan (C8) was given a 50-metre head start in the Stawell Gift, he may not hear the starter’s pistol,” reckons Peter Miniutti of Ashbury.

Writing in third person, Eric Scott of Bondi Junction says: “Watching the New Zealand v Australia women’s ODI cricket, it jarred to hear mention of a fielder at ‘third man’. We have embraced batters instead of batsmen so let’s work on a gender-neutral replacement for this one.”

It’s with some concern that we report that Ingo Weinberger of Campsie never tried Cahill’s caramel sauce (C8): “My choice was their ham salad, served with two slices of canned pineapple.”

Column8@smh.com.au
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