Before freaking out about commuting again, remember that returning to the office after any lengthy time away (what was known as a “vacation” in Before Times) has always been tough. So in some ways, this is nothing new. “Quarantine has given us the longest Sunday of the modern age, and suddenly it’s Monday,” says Will Ward, chief executive officer of online gear shop Translation Equipment HQ. “We’re trying to remember exactly how ‘to office.’”
If you haven’t forgotten, maybe you’re just dreading it. We asked seven mental health professionals about how to make our commutes less stressful. Here’s their advice.
Accept it. It’s happening—you can’t stop it. “Practice radical acceptance and understand what is within your circle of control and what falls outside,” says Holly Schiff, a clinical psychologist at Jewish Family Services of Greenwich, Conn. You can’t control your company’s in-office policy, nor your city’s traffic.
Find the positive. Your commute is “me time.” “You have an opportunity to turn inward,” says Crystal Oakman, a therapist and coach in Carlisle, Pa. That hour is rare time uncompromised by work, kids, or partners. Use it to self-reflect—or to listen to audiobooks, call friends and family, or learn a language.
Start now. Sleep and wake as if you’re commuting already; work, eat, and exercise accordingly. “Establish habits consistent with what will be needed for your work schedule,” says Michael Wetter, director of psychology in the adolescent division at UCLA Medical Center.
Ease in. “If you used to commute five days a week with multiple subway rides during rush hour, jumping back into that routine probably isn’t going to work,” says New York City psychotherapist Kim Hertz. Your tolerance has changed, so ramp up slowly. “Try a practice day and see what it feels like. Then if you can, start with one day a week. Tell yourself to go easy and that it will take time to settle.”
Strike up a conversation. “Take the opportunity for brief moments of connection with fellow riders who take the train or bus at the same time every day or vendors that you see regularly,” says Rachelle Scott, medical director of psychiatry at Eden Health in New York City. Positive interactions with others help regulate emotions and stress levels.
Steal a smile. “Create a few happy moments each day,” says psychologist Taisha Caldwell-Harvey. Play your favorite song, laugh at a comedy podcast, or catch up with an old friend. “Be intentional about planning for those moments,” she says. “Your whole day doesn’t need to be great to keep you afloat.”
Evaluate. “If you realize that your commute actually isn’t good for your mental health or overall happiness, you’re not stuck,” says psychologist Isabelle Morley, who practices virtually from just outside Boston. Ask about staying remote full time. Or maybe it’s time to start looking for a job without a commute.