DJ Ken’s vinyl countdown

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Ken Gill of Northmead refuses to succumb to boring lockdown activities and is slinging the vinyl instead: “I have committed to playing all 100 of my old vinyl LPs, from A to Z by artist, and have faithfully promised myself not to skip such classics as The Best of Benny Hill, which surely was a gift [Sure it was – Granny]. From B-for-Beatles to D-for-Dylan will at least see me through my latest jigsaw puzzle. Has lockdown beaten me anyway, given that I sorted them into alphabetical order to begin with?”

“My father was a prolific whistler (C8),” says Nick Walker of Erskineville. “He worked for a time in the head office of a well-known bank. Once, he saw a copy of his personnel file, where it noted: ‘Whistles!’ as if this were something to be monitored and wary of.”

Forget the Mu variant (C8). Doug Walker of Baulkham Hills warns that the impending Pi variant “will be 3.141592 times more infectious.” And Col Burns of Lugarno advises: “You can’t Beta Pi.”

Allen Dodd’s recollection of his great aunt’s brown egg shakedown (C8) reminded Kathryn Soddy of Wahroonga of the time she had an American guest: “We sent him off to get some eggs at the supermarket, but he returned empty-handed. He said all the eggs had gone off – he couldn’t find a white one anywhere – they were all brown.”

Gary Lane of Milperra reckons he can match Trevor Stephenson (C8): “While reading a clinical trial application, I noticed the main contact for the company was a Dr Needle.” We get the point, as does John Dawson of Parramatta who asks: “Did I see that the sculptor who works with flotsam and jetsam is named DeBris?”

“The tannin-free imbibing quest (C8) is missing the essential science in tea-making with the great Australian ‘billy can’,” writes John Ward of Bangor. “The raw steel surfaces of a new billy have to be pre-conditioned to produce optimum flavour. The internal surface should be tannin-coated, and the outside blackened by a suitably smoky fire. Black on the outside also improves heating. Both the billy and tea improve with age and frequent use.”

Dick Barker of Epping thinks Hugh Barrett (C8) should embrace the chaos: “Get out of the rut and add a little spice to life. Time to put four prunes on the missus’ breakfast cereal. Dare you!”

Column8@smh.com.au

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